Home Movies

I've been thinking a lot of home videos, including pictures. I'm usually the type of person who wants the best picture, everything has to be perfect or I will delete it. This reminds me of my media class and home videos. Lately, I have been thinking about all the pictures I take until I get the perfect one. It usually takes me 10 times to get the perfect posture and expression that I want to express. When I have taken a good picture of myself I save it and delete the others. This week I have also been recording myself a confession and expression of my love for my husband Pate. So far I have done at least 15 takes, and I'm still not satisfied. 3 of the takes, my hair is totally mess and ugly, others the lighting is really bad, and others I just don't like the way I look or the way I'm talking in the camera. I just can't get a perfect recording of how I want to see myself. And so now, time is running out (father's day is almost here) and I have already lost my chance to play my video with the rest of my in-laws. Should I just send it, and let everyone see how I really am? I think I am going to. I have never really filmed myself before so I and everyone else will get to see how I really am. True, I am not perfect and I guess I should just be accepting of who and how I really am.

As for this picture to the left. I should have deleted it, back 3 years ago, when I first took it. Because my daughters face is blurry. But I decided to keep it because my husband is in it, and he rarely likes taking piks. I see that I am trying to shape an image of me and my family that doesn't exactly exist. I am myself and I need to be more accepting of that. So I will send this video that I have (after I edit out the bad and ugly parts)... hehe.. Well, its time.